It has always been so interesting to me that when asked what the most important part of any relationship is, most people say trust and or honesty. It's as if they think that trust is just naturally there, and that being honest comes hand in hand with that. I don't feel that way at all. In fact I firmly believe that communication is the key to success in ANY and EVERY relationship in life.
I come from a family with a French background and let's just say that communication isn't their best quality... lol Love you mom! And I have also had to learn how to be more communicative and say certain things in a manner that maybe takes more time or more thought, but ultimately makes more sense. Or at least I hope so. I feel like it's sort of like texting, if words aren't explained as best to a person's ability then things can be misconstrued or misunderstood.
As life plugs along and we go from job to job and relationship to relationship, be it family, friends, or partners, there is a certain amount of communication that comes into play that is natural. And it's very interesting that, when I personally look back at some of those previous situations and how they were handled, by me or otherwise, some of the worst parts of those could have been a hell of a lot easier or handled better, if only either party would have communicated.
For example, when starting a new job. We are told to be honest and ask for what we want. That we will never receive that respect or the position we desire unless we ask for it. And then being at the job for some time and thinking you have the right to speak your mind and give to the job in any sort of way, and your ideas get shot down or simply not heard. BUT in my experience many times I felt I was being honest and telling that new boss that I wanted to work up into a supervisory or management role, I also got the, "sure we will see how it goes", look or reply. And there were times I did move up into these positions, but only because I clawed my way into them. Or I would just do the amount of work that was asked of me and nothing more ( which didn't come to me until later in life), or the other end of things, and I would simply quit. Hence my extremely long resume! Because what's the point of telling you what I expect for myself, which should be something a boss looks for in a good employee, working my ass off, and then not moving an inch up the so called "totem pole". It's a very interesting point in your life when you are at a job that you love and you truly feel like you give it your all, and for whatever reason, your ALL doesn't seem to be enough. It's no different if you take out the work and insert the family or partner into this situation.
Now I know I'm talking about communication here, and it may seem like I have gotten off topic, but I assure you, I haven't. Communication is the key to success that I wished I had used for many things, many years ago. I don't know why it is that we are so worried to ask for what we want in life. The better position at work, the proper treatment from a partner, the respectful "thank you", that is expected when you hold the door for someone at the grocery store. But for whatever reason, many of us don't expect anything more, than in that moment, what we deserve.
Well that's not good enough. Why the hell do you think that the man you have been dating for months, continues to get away with every annoying and disrespectful thing he does...because YOU LET HIM - DUH!!! Because you haven't communicated that you expect and deserve otherwise (and p.s, if you have and thing's haven't changed, give your head a shake).
The way you are letting yourself be treated is because you don't think highly enough of yourself to communicate that, unless they clean up their act, get their shit together, and take the fucking garbage out once in a while, then you will never have that. People aren't mind readers.
Communication helps with being honest and trustworthy, so go ahead and do more of it! I always say that people don't need to question my character because I say what I mean, ask for what I want, and therefore can be trusted to be honest in my life. If a friend is asking your opinion of her boyfriend or the new shade of lipstick she is wearing, you don't have to be an asshole and stab her in the heart with a sharp tongue, but instead you can communicate to her in a thoughtful, caring manner, that while that new shade is nice, you saw another one at HER favorite store that would also look amazing on her.
No matter which way you look at it, in life, I feel, communication is the key to any and every successful relationship. We just need to know how to allow ourselves to TRUST that we have something important to say, and use our voices to make things happen. And to be HONEST with ourselves to let COMMUNICATION lead our lives to get, have and be who and what we are and stand for today!